What I'm Learning

I can't believe we have been in India for 3 months now. It has gone by so quickly! Well, I can finally say I am fully enjoying being here and my heart is completely here. A month ago I would not have been able to say that. The month of December was a rough month for me. I was desperatley missing family, friends and familiarity. So I spent lots of time praying and God's avenues in which he spoke to me were not in ways I was expecting. I knew God called us here but I hadn't quite seen our full purpose for being here and I am the type of person if I don't know my purpose I feel lost.
 Everyday we use rickshaw drivers as our means of transportation here in India and one day Micah was not enjoying the fact that we were in a rickshaw and he had to be in my arms. After several minutes of scream crying I spoke to him saying "Micah you have to trust me, the best place for you to be is right here in my arms and if I were to let you go you would be seriously hurt". After saying that I felt the Lord speak to my heart, that in His will is the best place for me to be and I know you don't understand why you are here but I have  a purpose in all of this and to just trust me.
Then, a few days later Micah and I were home alone and I needed to take a shower because we had to be some where. So, I stuck him in the pack and play and pulled it by the bathroom so he could see me and could play safely. Well, he was not happy about it. By the time he was enjoying playing in there I got out and was getting dressed and he started crying again. So, I spoke calmly to him that I was not going to pick him up when he was wining and throwing a fit. I told him when he got a happy heart I would pick him up. At that moment I felt the Lord ask me "Do you have a happy heart"? At that moment of being here in India NO I did not. I felt like I was the complaining Isrealites saying "Why did you bring us here, I hate it"!!!!
I am so glad to say that I am in the middle of His will and truly loving it. I know that we are making a lasting difference in the orphanages we work with and that the jewelry project we are working on will change the direction of many womens lives. I am so grateful for God's patience with me. Another scripture that Lord showed me was the story of the Father who spoke to one son and asked him to do somehitng and he said he say yes father I will do that and he never did. And he went to his other son and asked him to go out and do the same thing and the son said no but then went and did it. I don't want to be the son that does not follow through on their word. I wanted to share this with you all to reasure you that if you are feeling the same way I was that God's will is always the best! I am seriously blown away with how God is using us here and after I got over myself and my selfish wants I finally have the place in my heart to love on the people God called us to minister to. I know God used me the first 2 months we were here, but I feel like I am finally the vessel he can mold and shape and my heart is truly trusting Him.
I want to say a special Thank You to all of you who have been following us. Thank You for supporting us financially and through prayer. Ryan and I's lives are being changed and we will never be the same. Thank You for believing in us!!!